The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
