And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
