It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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