Don't make out with my wife yet
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
