Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
