I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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