Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
