I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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