I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
