Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
