Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
