I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
