Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
