Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
