i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
