All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
