I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
