And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
