Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
