But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
