I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
