he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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