I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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