Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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