Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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