no, he came in my armpit
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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