my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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