Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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