Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
