Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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