carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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