Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
