Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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