I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
