nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
