My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
