drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
