you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
