Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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