I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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