She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
