first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
