she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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