Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
