I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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