I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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