3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
