I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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