Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
