i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
