found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
