help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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