I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
