ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He passed out mid-signature
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
