i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
