You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
