I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
