My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
